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As a child, you don’t really know what’s going on.
You just know “not to tell your mom”
and that whatever is happening is pleasing him.
But keeping it to yourself will slowly tear you limb from limb.
I don’t really know when it started,
or when it stopped.
I just know that it happened,
and I despise you every day for what you did to my happiness.
I was such a trusting child,
but that came back to bite me.
For the longest time I thought I was doing something wrong,
but turns out it was you all along.
Thinking about it now,
it disgusts me to the core.
It haunts me in my weakest moments,
and that’s when I feel the most heartbroken.
You did this to me.
To someone you “love.”
You have left me in pieces of my former self,
all because you couldn’t control yourself.
It’s not my fault that your relationship isn’t good.
You should never do that to someone.
Either way, it’s revolting,
and what you did to me really crushed me.
I was just a scared little girl back then.
Looking back at it now,
I probably should have told my mom.
I was just so scared you were gonna blow up like a bomb.
Gosh you’re such an a**hole.
I hate you so much,
and that really hurts me.
Because all I want to do is be happy.
I felt so disgusting for the longest time,
Because of something you did.
I still struggle with my self-worth,
and you don’t help with your stupid smirk.
You know what you did,
and you know that you hurt me.
But you just love playing dumb,
and for the longest time that left me so numb.
There is so much hatred built up inside of me,
all because of your sick, twisted ways.
You may never think it could happen to you,
But trust me, you don’t have a clue.
I know I seem to happy,
and I know I seem so strong.
But on the inside there is so much unspoken,
Because the unthinkable left me broken.