Not Yet

November 22, 2017
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I want to see you
Up close and personal
I've got thousands of secondhand stories about you
I want my own experience
Or so I thought
Only sometimes do I want to
You can't be any worse
Trade the hard smacks and bams and punches
For cold hugs, embraced in your bony arms
Embrace me please
Take me please
No one else wants to
I want but no one else
The blood is seeping through the bandages, the pieces more like crumbles now
It hurts to remain, withering away
Like the rice paper on a string
You lend them a hand to walk through the door
You embrace them with cold welcoming arms
And then nothing
I don't want to meet you yet
Not up close and personal
I see you on standby and I say "Not yet."
I am afraid, not of you but the after
The after is always the hard part for me
But I'll take it when it's time
I will embrace you as you me
And I will take your hand
And I will go with you through the door
But not yet.
For now I will sway in the wind like the rice paper on a string
And I will find stronger bandages





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