A brother's mistake

November 16, 2017

I was just a little girl
When everything changed
My mother got distant
Both emotionally and physically
My brother got to close for comfort
Both emotionally and physically
I learned to keep a secret
Before I knew what a secret was

The two images that always come to mind when I think of you are
You kissing me
My lips tightly shut
My eyes closed, a damn for my tears
You didn’t notice
No one did

The other is of me
My head forced down
Doing things to you that i should have never had to do
But i was to scared’
To tell you no
So I sucked it up and his my tears

As I grew up
So did the demands
I remember once you took a picture of me
I guess that’s why I take pictures like that
Because in some twisted way I must have liked it
Even though I hated it

I started to hate you
Even though I adored you
I still couldn’t say no
So I kept quite
And kept secrets of my own

But the time came when I couldn’t take it anymore
I told the cops
You got taken away
I was happy
My family wasn’t
So I recanted and faked a smile

And now I’m here
Trapped inside these toxic memories
Hoping to get out
Knowing I won’t
My heart is broken
My eyes are swollen
From all the tears that escape everytime I think of you
So I say goodbye my brother
You were supposed to protect me
From people like you
But you didn’t
So goodbye
My nightmare

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