What I Wish My Parents Knew

October 30, 2017
By mirandatopper2 BRONZE, Lawrenceburg , Kentucky
mirandatopper2 BRONZE, Lawrenceburg , Kentucky
3 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You don't have to see where you're going , you don't have to see your destination or everything will pass you along the way"- Anne Lammott


                   

 

            Sometimes you ask me , "What's wrong" , as if that's an             easy question to answer. 

 

         You tug at my sleeve of my shirt , begging me not to spill my problems to anyone , as if it were some secret. Like how some parents tell their kids to watch what they're doing or else they will spill the drink that they're holding.

 

Mom, you were the ghost in my life , the absent parent , the parent that neglected me. 

 

Mom, I want you to know that your demons have changed who I am. I will never be the same person that I was before you had completely left me for good. 

 

Dad, I want you to understand that every time you yell , another part of me dies. Slowly you are both killing me. I am a ticking time bomb , a grenade in the hands of those that don't want to keep me. Not having both parents there , my mother neglected me , and my dad made me feel alone. A mom who doesn't even want me is breaking me , tearing me apart at the seams. When I come to school , I have to fake a smile. 

 

I have to fake a smile because I hate crying in front of people. Mom, your demons attacked me, changed me. I wish you knew how I fall apart because 

                                of  

                                     you. 

 

I feel alone , even when I am in a crowd of people. I'm always alone. Mom, I had to learn how to live without you, I'm still learning how. To both my parents , no matter how hard I try , I can't make new friends Anxiety holds me a hostage. The aching of my heart , breaks apart my ribcage. The bending and breaking of my heart contorts my soul. Having to live in isolation was a way that I had found to cope with all of this because it feels better to be alone than in a room full of people that don't even love me.

 

What I Wish My Parents Knew , I 

                                             am 

                                                 Trapped. 


The author's comments:

My inspiration for this poem came from my own human expriences. Growing up I never really , truly got to know the person that my mom was ,she never really was there for me through anything , and she had lied to me so many times that I never believed it when she'd say that she loved me. Throughout middle school (I am a sophomore in highschool now) , I had been so hard on myself , and to this day I still am because knowing from an early age that I did not want to put any of my kids through what I had been through was my mindset. Looking at my face in the mirror every day , picking apart my body as if it were something to dissect , looking at my flaws, looking at the acne on my face and hoping that others don't notice it. I want for other kids to be able to read this poem and know that they are not alone , you are worth everything to someone, you are good enough , you can be anything that you want to without being discriminized , you are beautiful , you are wonderful. 


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Mr.Garrison said...
on Jan. 6 at 11:19 am
Yeah that fucking sucked

Jessica17 said...
on Jan. 6 at 1:22 am
I absolutely loved it Miranda. It gave me an insight of who you were and who you're trying to be. Love and miss youu.


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