The Feelings I Have Harbored For You

October 7, 2017
By FionnaNorth BRONZE, Staples, Texas
FionnaNorth BRONZE, Staples, Texas
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

I honestly did not ever dream of you to be that way.
Expressing other feelings when not around I, to confuse or dismay.
To be selfish is what I think for you to be, teaching to me not to open thy cage for my heart.
Everlasting in the moment of conspiracy.
I had hoped not, yet you proved to be feckless.
My heart in the vicinity of fleeing.
When I am in the pull of magnetation.
As you are yet no longer may I stay.
I will venture out and I mustn’t look back at any time for it will bring me tragedy.
Did I plan to feel this way, of course not yet my heart is being squeezed by your hands alone.
I feel as if I am nothing more than a puppet to you.
Meritless I must refrain from thinking of you so.
I would like to come up with a fantasy that only I can follow yet I know that it will ne’er happen.
I dream of something foretold for the past is a treacherous being.
Omit, has yet to be a thought of you in my mind.
I tried to disregard you and you told me otherwise.
You did not wish for me to ignore you.
You want me to be thyself and myself I will be.
Others tell me to be caution for you are taken.
All I do is say a simple greeting and I am a piece of meat for a pack of wolves.
You have done something beyond the pale.
It muddled me, sickened me.
You apologized yet I can not accept it but please do not worry for I will,
“Forget it ever happened.”
Those words that have been spoken from your mouth only further oppress me.
Don’t tell you say.
It utterly seems as if you are trying to save your own ass.
Am I that much of a disgust to thee that you wish not to touch anything that is in my possession.
You are simply afraid of losing it but is it that the truth?
If you speaketh the truth then no lie must you remember.
A key… for a lock perhaps but may I ask, what is the lock?
Would you like to lock up something or set something free?
To lock up a simple memory of me saying, Tu me manques.
Wherefore, is the question asked repeatedly in my heart.
You soundly reply to my heart felt words yet I still say them, yearning for a proper answer.
I would say I yearn for thee but I do not know how my heart feels.
When I think with my mind and speak I sound heartless, when I feel with my heart and speak I sound thoughtless.
Never before have I said something so true.
Be that as it may.
Simple, simple greetings between us.
"Good late morning."
"Good night."
Improper it may seem but that is how everyone speaks of this day.
It brings me pure joy to talk to you in such a way but we also fare the long arguments of many.
"Why do you avoid me so?"
"Me avoid you, it is you who is avoiding me!"
"I think it is both of us."
"What!? It is you."
Then we somehow overcome our minimal hatred and smooth it over.
"Where are you?"
"I want to give you a hug…"
"Okay, here I am"
Then it goes back to normal.
Please do not ask me to define normal.
It would pain me so.
You see there is nothing much more to say.
So soon I will have to fare-thee-well.
I have had a recent change in heart.
Things have only grew between us.
Now they are incandescent.
I am starting to get a rather funny feeling when I see you or even when we are near each other.
The blood in my veins pumps more thoroughly.
My stomach has a open feeling to it.
My heart doesn’t cry at the sight you anymore!
It smiles with exultation.
I have no idea of any sort what emotion or feeling this is.
I have been missing you of late.
My thoughts go to you night and day.
Wishing and happening are completely different things.
People are attacking me as if they are war lords. 
"If I'm sorry and so are you, then why do we keep bringing up the things that are hurting us the most? For my Beau … I will always like you."
Those words written by you have healed my heart and now I must forget and forgive.
I will, I will end this poem shortly for I feel I will not need it much more.
Thank you for those benevolent and amiable words.
I am truly exuberant.
This poem is going to end the way it began.
I honestly did not ever dream of you to be that way.
I really like it that you have shown me otherwise.

The author's comments:

I liked this guy and he claimed to like me but kept dating other people, and he did some not okay stuff to me ad told me to just "forget it ever happeneed", welp, I could not so I wrote about my feelings, I even sent it to him. I hope there can be a connection, and that no one will have to go through that.

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