Three in the Morning

November 2, 2017

I lay wide awake at three in the morning, unable to fall back asleep.
I play a movie in my mind, a hopeless attempt to fall asleep
The main characters? You and me.

A story where there aren’t 76 miles between us, where we don’t have to be a secret.
Where we don’t have to pretend, sneak through the shadows afraid that anyone could know.

A tale where we can laugh over a cup of coffee, and cuddle up on the couch to watch a movie.
Where we can sit by the fireplace and drink hot cocoa in the winter and play in the pool in the summer.

A fantasy where we can sit on the rooftop at midnight and watch the stars twinkle against the jet black sky, or wrap ourselves in a blanket, sit on the porch and hear the rain’s soft pattering on the asphalt.

Where we don’t have to hide our affection, where we can hold hands, take a stroll through the park.

A romance where you can come over when I need you, and I could come over when you need me.
Where I am able to spoil you with gifts on Valentine's day… or any day really.
Where I can sing to you (even if not well), stare into your eyes without worrying of what everyone else is thinking

Where I can meet your friends and you can meet mine, where we can play your favorite video games and play my favorite board games, and read by the fireplace, or dance to a slow song, goof around and be silly.

A story where I can say “I Love You” without worrying if anyone heard me, where I can lean my head on your shoulder and you can wrap your arm around my shoulders.
Where I don’t feel like giving up sometimes, where I don’t feel like I’ll never see you again.

A tale where we can take silly, dumb pictures, where we can sing duets together as loud as we wanted to, where we can share popcorn at the movies.
Where we can build a blanket fort and lie in it for hours.

A fantasy where we go on a picnic, just you and me, and we drive so far we can only hear static on the radio, where we build a bonfire, make s'mores, and catch fireflies in a mason jar.
Where we can carve our initials on a tree.

A romance where I can receive good morning texts from you and I can send you the sappiest texts ever.
Where we can take those romantic pictures in the photo booths and I can put them in my folder.
Where I can see you in person instead of starting at a picture when nobody is around.

Where 76 miles doesn’t feel like a million galaxies away

A story where I can be inside your hugs, warm and loving instead of my bed cold and lonely.
Where I don’t think that you might be better off with someone else, someone you can actually go out with, because in the end I just want you to be happy, even if it means that I’m not.

A tale where I don’t have to worry if you still feel the same way I do, where I don’t spend my free time daydreaming of what could’ve been if I had said no, if I convinced my parents to stay.

A fantasy where these miles don’t exist, where I don’t lay in bed pretending my pillow is your chest, where I don’t wrap myself in a blanket pretending it’s your arms, where I don’t sob into my pillow at night hoping nobody can hear me. Where I don't have to constantly lie.


Where I don’t have to treat you like just a friend, because you are so much more.

A story where I don’t lie awake in my bed at three in the morning with tears running down my face thinking of a story that could’ve been.






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