The One I Miss The Most

October 13, 2017
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You were always there
In my room cleaning up my toys, In my kitchen making miniature blueberry pancakes
In my life
I had fun with you
On the adventures that we shared
Playing video games and going to my grandma’s
Playing with the flowers that bloomed in her beautiful backyard
These were the memories I held dearly to my heart,
There were things I wish I could have said to you
But I am trying to move on
You are gone and here I am
I have to be strong and try to forget the past
But it's harder than it seems
For you were the most dearest one to me 
I needed you in my life, beside me as I grew older
But you left too quickly that I didn’t have the time to see you run away
I see you in my memories 
Holding me when I was little, teaching me to walk
Your bald head as I am on your shoulders
These are the things that make me think..
Why did you leave? Was I not good enough?
Did I do something wrong?
I wish I could turn back the clock and fix the mistakes I have done
Am I the reason that you left?
Was I supposed to be here alive and well?
Or was I supposed to be gone with the other two that passed?
These are some of the things I think daily
Maybe things aren’t always as they seem
For I am breaking inside from the person I needed the most
The person I looked up to and left with no reason at all
I always thought you went for a run or went to the store
But that day when they said you were gone....
I felt like I was drowning in the ocean
And it would some way bring me closer towards you
But I have learned to move on bit by bit when you are gone
We saw you every now and then, and those were the happiest of times for me
But you did something bad and now I can’t see you nor hear you I am starting to forget how your voice sounded like…

But I will never forget the words you told me that one night as you lulled me to sleep…

“I love you sweetie and I always will”






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