On a scale from 1 to 10, how much pain are you in?

He says a 9.

I've grown up thinking that he's always been like this,

introverted and antisocial.

I've noticed how he disguises his sadness,

his anger.

I've noticed his sad smile that never quite reaches the tops of his cheeks.

I've grow up thinking that his moody persona makes him who he is today.

I've noticed when he cries silently, making sure nobody can hear him.

I've noticed how he tosses and turns in his sleep.

I've noticed everyday how stressed he was when he came home from work.

But on the rare ocassion when he is happy, that's what I notice the most.

He is happy when he cooks.

He is happy when he makes jokes at the dinner table.

He is happy when he plays videogames with my younger brothers.

He is happy when he spoils us.

He calls his pain that should be a 10, a 9.

He is so strong.

But whether or not he truly is broken,

I will always notice him.

But I'll notice everything that makes him happy,

rather than the things that make him sad.

We love you so much, Dad.