when i was younger,
i made a pact with myself.
to never write a single song or sappy poem about
love or heartbreak.

but years later,
i have had my heart beaten and bruised,
romantically and not.
years later, i broke the promise

but i am not upset with myself, for
i have grown,
and i understand that writing
can be therapeutic.

when i formed that pledge,
(i will not say that i did not understand love)
i did not understand heartbreak,
and the remedies for it.

that is okay.
i do what i do
to help myself,
and music and writing does help me.

it helps me
to spill my ink as i spilled my heart out
to rip apart rejected papers and poems
as my heart was ripped and rejected.

it helps me to write
so i can look back on it.
to reflect on it
tells me so much.

looking back assures me i got over it,
that life goes on like the sun sets and rises.
yes, it will hurt like a blade,
but it will pass like the clouds.

i know there will be more to come
and i will document it
through words and songs and art
and i will not be upset about that.

i used to think there was a weakness in heartbreak,
and perhaps there is,
but there is no weakness in having human emotion,
and i will not feel ashamed for it.