No, Really, I am--I.m Fine
I mumble to myselg
Because I have to be
I havew to be because you arent
If i.,m not, then how can I help?
I put my thoughts and my feelings on hold becuase they aren't what's important
I ignore them until you are out of my sight
I hide them becuase you make me
I hide them because I can't bare you to see me struggle!
I go home and I go straight to bed
not because I'm tired
b ut because I dont want to be awake
I don't want to risk the slightest think to go wrong
like getting a bad grad eon a test, Or not texting my mom back
Because if it does
I will explode.
If it does I will sing deeper and deeper and deeper down into the hole I dug myself
You ask me if i'm okay
You text, you call nonstop
I can tell that you are worried
I can tell that you know I'm lying
I don't want to say I'm fine, but I do
You beg me to tell you the truth
All I say is, "I can't, I'm sorry"
Later that day, I call you
I say under my breath, "I'm not okay"
I need help but I don't know where to start
See, I"ve put aside my feelings for so long
I dont know how to deal with them
I dont want to
I got this-- I've survived for this long
I can go longer
This is my normal