Hardest Goodbye

October 12, 2017
By , Modesto, CA

I’m smiling. But can you still see that it hurts? Yeah I didn’t think so.
I’m always going to be the one, the one girl with a heart too big for today’s society, the girl who gives more than she gets.
And you know it does kinda sting… but I hope he’s happy. I hope that he can now look into her eyes, and see his whole word. Maybe the same way he told me he could in mine.
But he’s not my world, not anymore.
I would take every risk to be with you, I TOOK every risk to be with you.
You messed up bad and I think you know you did too.
You said we should be friends and yet you just left me here, unable to reach you.
But, I still want you here with me even if you might not feel the same. I still want to talk things out, even though I could never match the pain you put me through. It still seems that I can never live without you.
There is a big part of me that is so damn desperate to know if my absence has affected you at all. If there is a possibility that you’ve experienced the same painful, restless nights that I have and if maybe your heart is broken in the same place as mine.
Because of you, I feel that I'm always prepared for goodbyes not because it’s all I've ever know, but because you were the one that hurt the most.






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