Painting in my room
Enjoying the natural light softly illuminating my canvas
Beautiful blue skies and the white yellow sun smiling down on me
Each stroke of the brush calms my nerves

Suddenly
I hear a knock knock on my door
In walks my brother, worry washes out his pale skin

“What’s wrong?” I ask
He says nothing

“You’re scaring me,”
I drop my brush, now anxious of what he would say

He says nothing

Silence screams in my ears
My heart bump bumping against my chest
I looked into his fixed eyes, I have never seen him this way

“Are you okay?”

He says nothing

But this time he approaches me
I stand up to meet him

“I don’t know how to tell you this,
But you deserve to know,” he says
His voice quivers in the back of his throat

Somehow I already know what’s coming
I say it in my head
It races through my mind, but I dare not ask

“I have cancer”

My heart plummets through my stomach
My eyes flood with tears enough to fill an ocean
My skin stiffens and goosebumps form across every inch of my body
“No”
I shake my head in disbelief
These words
They can’t be real
This can’t be real

“No”

My body weakens and my head falls to hide my tears
He lifts my head, and I see his face scrunching to keep from crying
He is trying to be strong for me
He is telling me it is okay, he is okay

He is not okay

Why my brother
Why him
Why my brother

That night, as I step into my shower
The warm water dribbles down my face
It washes away my tears
Only for them to flow out again once I begin to think

All I could ask was why
Days go by, my parents ask if I am okay
I say ye-
I say no

Days go by, my friends ask to go out
I say ye-
I say no, I am busy

Days go by, I ask myself if I am hungry
I say ye-
I say no