Shameless

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A clear December’s night sky
Burns cold and crisp in a sea of shining stars,
One bursts brighter, and skids off in a silver wave
It falls from its place on top of the world,
And collides with the horizon silhouette,
Where earth, sea, and sky meet for one dazzling instant

~

I think we’re all born from the stars,
But when I finally collided with the reality of this world,
Something broke inside of me,
And in the flitting stardust where I fell,
I was left without a friend, and without a hand,

I was empty,
But for the emotions that stormed in my heart,

I was desolate,
For absence of all the things I should have known

And I was alone with myself,
Left to face the memories of being whole

Confused, mind shattered,
Into a million shining pieces,
I couldn’t put them all back together again,

But you smiled, and continued to smile,
And the pieces began to come together,
Until enough of me was there
To smile at you when you could not smile back

The feelings I have in this heart,
Speed and crash,
Into each other,

I’m helpless, angry, vulnerable,
The ugly emotions they don’t want to see,
But you stood through it as well,

No matter what I did to myself
In my own fall,
After my own winter,
You stood on the edge of something,
And waited.

You did not slip on the edge of this hole,
You called to me,
And words were mine once again,

Silence was my only answer,
As I stepped onto the edge with you
A different precipice
The edge of living our lives,
Of being who we are for the better,

I’ve never had anything to prove to you,
I’ve never told you to go away,
I don’t take you for granted,

And even now you stand in this storm,
The storm that is me,
And you say that I’m still here,

But there are things I’ve never told you,
About the pitch from where I once came,
Things that are unforgettable,
That have so far,
Been the reason I have been alone,

I tell you one,
Time told,
And I told another,
And you are constant
More constant than the sun in the sky,
Or the air I breathe,

And now it’s time I’ve told you who I am,
Like a toddler,
Until now I’ve only half succeeded,
and half imitated my life,

I was born something else,
Someone else,
With the ability to feel every other star in the sky,
And I could touch them
Almost like I can touch you now

No sky was unreachable,
And no darkness so impenetrable,
That I could not touch a light
And make it shine brighter,

I used to reach the dimmest stars,
The faded,
And the ones hardly here at all

What I touched, would seem to heal itself,
And I would only grow brighter,
Until one day my light was taken from me,
And I ended up here,
With nothing but time and memory between,

And now that I have been touched,
By you in ways I never thought possible,
And reached,
In a place I thought no one could enter,

I am no closer to the person I would have been,
But infinitely closer to the person I am,
And want to be,

Fear of loss, so deep,
Is the only thing holding me back now,
But even when you’re not around I am braver,
Stronger, and wiser than I am

But when I am with you,
And you’re not smiling,

I try, and try again,
To soothe your shuddering world,
Give hope from a long kept dawn,
And dance with your anger.

I do my best,
But I can’t stand some nights where you feel like falling apart,
And there’s a dark cloud over your head,
Denying you the sky, and by fault,
The stars

I only wish,
That as I become who I need to be,
That I can be beside you,
And when you try to fall asleep,
Or break from a dream,
That I can fracture this silence,
Calm you with the sound of my heart
That only you alone can hear,
And sing…

Sing you to sleep

I’d sit beside your bed,
I’d hug you when you needed it,
And couldn’t speak,

And I’d sing until the tears evaporate like stardust
And your breathing slows, and evens out

You would dream again,
And I would stay awake and listen to the silence,
Protect the gentle breathing,
And the innocence of strange dreams again

But even this wish is only a milestone,
A half-way mark,
To finding out how to let you
Feel the music when I say,
That I love you,
Shamelessly and hopelessly,
My dearest friend,






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