Mind In Mayhem

October 2, 2017
By Dark_Moon117 SILVER, Chamberlain, South Dakota
Dark_Moon117 SILVER, Chamberlain, South Dakota
8 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You call it music, I call it my therapist" - NF

I don't know what I'm supposed to do
I'm honestly torn in two
Does she really care about me?
Is that something I can't see?
Or does she just want me gone?
I don't know which side to act on

I always feel guilty and sick
It was rushed and too quick
Am I the one pushing her away?
I don't wanna lose her, despite what I say
But she left me, didn't she?
So there must be something wrong with me

But where did I go wrong?
It had to be me all along
If I was good enough, why did she leave?
Me doing nothing is something I can't believe
I always feel pain when I see her
I don't think we'll ever be the way we were

Why can't I just be satisfied?
Is it because a piece of me died?
I was left again, why am I surprised?
Why wasn't I good enough? I tried
But at least you didn't lie

Broke my heart in two
I can feel the deja vu
You're always on my mind and I can't get you out
My mind's become clouded in doubt
Why are you something I can't live without?

Back to square one, alone again
Down in the dark, I descend 
Will I be able to make amends?
Back to a broken heart and a mind in mayhem...

The author's comments:

This is pretty much about a girl who, essentially, left me for another guy despite saying that I was good enough for her. I was confused, lost, and questioned so many things. Needless to say, I over thought the situation and she was really only sugar-coating the whole thing. The "I was left again" and "deja vu" I speak of is another event that happened only a month or so before when I was with this other girl whom I liked. But she left me for someone else as well, also despite claiming I was a good guy. So the girl I talk about in the poem is someone I thought would be different, but she only brought me to the same situation I was in a month or so prior. 

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