Bittersweet Victory

September 22, 2017

My efforts bore fruit,
My toil received pay;
For she has assented to my love,
My longing has been filled.

But who is this enemy
That fills my mind with doubt?
Who is this foe
That fills my heart with despair?

For she has said yes,
But the Joy is tainted
By fear and uncertainty,
And I enter into desolation.

Why are my feelings
Filling with dread?
Have I chosen wrong?
What have I done?

I can still remember 'The Moment,'
The Joy shining in her face,
Giving light to my lonely heart,
Providing warmth to my freezing soul.

Years I've spent in darkness, feeling less than human;
But she reaches into a part of me
That no one else can reach:
She makes me feel human once again.

So how can I be wrong?
Why do I still lie awake at night?
Why do my thoughts rebel against me?
Why does she divide me so?

For the thought of her
Fills me with something yet unnamed:
An emotional pain of sorts,
A great spiritual anguish.

I see no cause, but the pain
Is related to my love for her.
I feel the restlessness, the yearning;
It may even be called love sickness.

I know not what springs forth from here,
But I find hope towards another day.
Tomorrow I see her again
And my desolation might be cured.






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