Cheers to high school
To the days we spent comparing our thigh gaps and current diets
When I thought if I didn’t need breakfast maybe I didn’t need lunch or dinner either
We think about how many calories are in toothpaste rather than who’s going to win at the volleyball game
You stand naked on a bathroom scale crying that you’ll never be to your goal weight wondering why you haven’t had your period in months or why you’re still cold in a warm room
This is not how you should be spending your teenage years
Let me tell you something if you’re not recovering you ARE dying
As children the first thing we’re taught is how to be pretty as if it’s not as important as being smart or kind
You walk the halls before your eating disorder and nobody makes eye contact
You walk the halls after your eating disorder has destroyed your body and people ask how you did it
How could you not love your illness when it’s the only reason people like you
You only feel pretty when you’re hungry
The calculator in your head goes on constantly
An apple 60, a cucumber 8, a banana 103
We shouldn’t feel like having lunch is giving up
It will never stop