In my sorry way I loved you

August 31, 2017
By Sebastian Soltes SILVER, Calgary, Alberta
Sebastian Soltes SILVER, Calgary, Alberta
6 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Every night I lay
It's always like surgery
Thoughts crowd my mind like tendons on your circuitry
I make the best turn to the worst and he
Never knew how to properly nurse your heart...what a curse
But every time we speak I can feel your mundanity
It always fazes me since you are the contrary
You are the main source that leads to my collective functionality
I jump when he claps and he...
He didn't believe me
Because I couldn't bring the words to my lips and say
Come and see me instead I say
Go away from my hearts gate...
I pushed you
I hurt you
Semi corrupted you
But look what you made me do
Responsibility haunts me and my every move and something makes for bad keepsake
Every sweatshirt
Ever meals grace
they all hold a place in my mind space
And when I listen I always keep my team straight.
The few people to catch me when I fall on my face
What about disgrace....
What about love and life
The one that sent me to this outcastes waste land that sent me right to the right handed corner stamped it in place
Mailed it to your welcome mat to see your beautiful face...
Because this isn't seeming natural this is out of hate...
This is out of pain and rage and love and the mere fact of loss in a time destine for fate....
But you drank to late...
Said to much pumped the breaks
Because you can't do this if we're not just mates
But it makes me wonder....
Does love comes in all different shapes?...

But every time you kissed me I could feel the tension and the urgency
Sexualised and surly
This all happened to early
But I lay here
About what constitutes as flirting
New guys, burden me
All of this is embarrassing
Because you're the one I'm missing and you're the one that tears at me
The one who's tears I reap when you caught me in the sheets
And seduced me into a never ending sleep
I realised I could do better
But betters for the meek
Because better doesn't include you and me
Can't you see!
Me and my friends they cut to's not just me
And I relate to this relevantly for you are the pressure on me chest and darling you have killed me
And my dear I don't give a damn
The other girls would do it willingly
But they won't write you pots of gold or see the blood that I see
Because we reap,repeat we sleep we keep
But when we caught and kept
You were lost in a sweat so baby please
It's all coming back to me
I need a love that consists of you and me
Your DNA is what gives me my relevancy
And when I step onto a pitch it's your fists I fight for
Not me....
Because i beg to impress you
Darling I want to digest you
Let me fit you into a test tube to test what may be wrong with you
Just please come back to me
I know I jumped the rabbit he...
He Moves to fast for me
Your actions over shadow me
I am the alabaster in your sea of blasphemy
And the boat we slept in
That was what moved fast as we. Cut through waves you see
Edged them off perfectly
We took the summer off to fall in love
Didn't we?
What made you think you could leave when we...needed us the most
Baby don't ghost
Find another to make you miserable so you can bost
About her beauty in the daylight
And weep at night because it's not the monsters in the bed but it's the thought that's in your head
You're out of sight...
Forgotten he lost you for his own stupidity
He never knew the line between drama and mere Pitty
But...when will you come back to me
Or call me and call me those two crass letters to keep me on my feet...
Changing a four letter pronoun to a two letter charming defeat...
Give it right back to me
I want your love
I want you're happiness
Just give it to me...
Breath it
i'll exhale currency...
Tell me what you want from me...
Maybe i'll make a recovery
Give me all you've got from me..
Because baby we are he happiness that chooses to be seen....
So give it right back to me...
And i'll be your queen...

The author's comments:

The best people get the worst in people

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