- Summer Guide
- College Guide
- Author Interviews
- Celebrity interviews
- College Articles
- College Essays
- Educator of the Year
- Personal Experience
- Travel & Culture
- Current Events / Politics
- Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking
- Entertainment / Celebrities
- Love / Relationships
- Movies / Music / TV
- Pop Culture / Trends
- School / College
- Social Issues / Civics
- Spirituality / Religion
- Sports / Hobbies
- Community Service
- Letters to the Editor
- Pride & Prejudice
- What Matters
Let me break it down, God--
You really can't blame me.
I didn't do much wrong when you consider it, see-
I'm entirely innocent; I just wanted knowledge
(and who doesn't like to learn and wish to go to college?)
Plus, that snake made me eat it, said I'd be okay,
Said, "Just have some fruit. You'll live another day!"
So God, understand--don't be thick in the head--
I'm in the right; punish the snake instead.
Eve, did not I say to the serpent,
"Thou cursed above every beast of the field?"
Well, I suppose you're right, God, but that wasn't enough.
I was also framed by Adam (who thinks he's tough
And yet he whines and points to me when your stare turns to him).
So hear me, please, as I go out on a limb--
He said, "Eve forced me to eat it!" but that's totally false! So--
Consider making him give birth and suffer also.
Eve, did not I say to Adam,
"Cursed is the ground for thy sake?"
Well, I guess you punished all of us in different ways,
Yet I'm the only one who has to pay!
People think I started original sin,
But you see, God--perspectives have to spin.
Artisits preserved me as a witch
And now everyone on Earth thinks I'm a--
Well, anyway, God, I won't repent.
I swear on the Bible I am innocent!