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Anxiety: a four act stage play
Act one:
Act one begins with genetics
It begins with my already losing case for a normal life
I was ten when he first made himself known
It was every ten minutes when I needed to tell my mom the bad things I did
For fear something bad might happen to her
I filled myself up with pills and he hasnt bothered me since
But he would not be banished that easily
No, for this is only the beginning
Act two:
I am thirteen and he is here again
But I dont recognize his face
He has changed form, changed shape
The kids around me throw words that equate themselves with sharp daggers
I become scared
and I find myself avoiding places, people things
Those sharp daggers turn into things I drag across my fragile skin
For it is only then, that he shuts up even just a little
He is back and I become used to his new form
But there is a part of him that still lays dormant inside my frame
Act three:
I am sixteen and I know who he is
He is an old friend
Someone who has just always been there
He attacks me sometimes
Takes the air from my lungs, shakes my bones, electrifies my heart
He puts thoughts into my head that I never asked for
He causes my thoughts to spiral, spinning like a washing machine stuck on the spin cycle
I drag the memories that he brings up across my damaged skin, but even that does not silence his screaming
I do not banish him, for there is no use
He is here to stay and there is no part of him that lies dormant any longer
Act four:
I am seventeen and I am at a crossroads
I am at the corner of the present and the future
I am at the corner with the guy who hurt me and the friend he once was
I am at the corner of new adventures and old
I am at the corner with my friends
The only people who have done the job of shutting him up consistently
But time, as a close relative of his, forces things to change
And as a chapter of my life ends I have to make a decision
I have to decide what to do next
But he makes it so easy
He makes it easy to leave them, for he has already convinced me they want me gone
And so I go, just like he knew I would
I am sorry to say that this play has no happy ending
The antagonist has won
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