Let the levees burst - watch them fail - as your shaky, red-tipped fingernails cascade onto ruined skin. Cut into your capillaries and draw out the swollen strands of self-loathing to roll between your thumb and pointer, then watch as it plummets to the tile like Icarus whose wings were rudely clipped by the humbling hand of God. Tell yourself this is good for you – you’re healthy, you’re fine. The shards of glass inside your tongue won't cause you any harm. It’s perfectly normal to go to bed lonely but wake up midnight to feel your sweat-stained mattress gently sloping away from your body. It’s ok to close your eyes and will the burning between your legs to stop. It's just cigarette ashes, you whisper, I’ll deal with it in the morning.
July 23, 2017