Puzzling Fear | Teen Ink

Puzzling Fear

June 21, 2017
By Caitlin Roberts BRONZE, Anchorage, Alaska
Caitlin Roberts BRONZE, Anchorage, Alaska
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Some say humans are puzzles
I disagree
Puzzles can be taken apart piece by piece
If humans were puzzles, this poem need not be
Because I would take the fear out of me

Puzzles make sense, but I swear I don't
My fears don't fit together, instead they oppose
Rationality seems to play no part
Because I tell myself it's stupid
I say it every night

I can stand up in front of thousands
I will dance all night
As long as their faces are blurred by stage lights
People will tell me my performance was the best
And I just smile because I love to impress

When the performance is over I return to school
Where the fear takes my reigns
I turn into a fool
The teacher asks me to read for the class
My voice stutters and I break into pieces of shattered glass

If humans were puzzles, I would have smiled and read
I would cast out the bad pieces
Make peace in my head
But that is not possible so I continue two lives
One where I choke and the other where I thrive

The author's comments:

My fear of speaking aloud in class has been something I've struggled with for years. Most people just assume that I have a fear of being in front of that crowds, but I know their wrong. I have performed and competed in front of over a thousand people, and not once faltered. So, I wrote this in hopes of explaining to others and even myself, what exactly my fear is.


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