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Grandpa
There is art within your compulsive organization
The way the measuring cup must be flat to ensure precise amounts
For the perfect combination of ingredients
The way your white undershirts are stored
Folded perfectly
Unsullied
Like the corners of the bed sheets
Tucked, without wrinkle
Unlike your skin
Your aging skin
That spits sweat
When you act happy
When you take those
kidney killing
Pain stoping
Mind numbing
Zombie like attitude inflicting
Things
Pills
You
Then
And only then
Are not yourself
The way you sleep
With head upon couch
Because
For some reason
You can't bring yourself to lay next to her
Your wife
She is the reason you are alive
But
She is the reason you are killing yourself
You survived war
You survived
You persevered
And you loved
You love
The hollow place on that couch left by your bottom
Bible ridding shotgun on your wooden table
And your mints
I hate those mints
You ask question about technology
Slow down
You ask me about growing up
Slow down
You ask me about cooking
Turn down that burner
And
Slow down
Shoot! He is running away. Shoot!
Speed up
Get him in your scope and shoot
Speed up
You give me advice
On driving
On going to church
On how to cook
On how to gut out a buck
And how to be ethical
You taught me words
On the way to school
Before we would stop at the coffee shop
I learned them
For the coffee and muffin
And for you
Your days of clarity are filled with
Joy
Good food
Target practice
Overly-purposeful movies
And walking
You can't walk well
Or hear
But you sure can listen to instruction
The navel environments taught you that
Down the smallest command
You must obey
And now, you follow instructions on a cake box like they are your Sargent
Your hair
gray
Brushed to the right
Without one stray
Your mouth
Spits venom
Preaches great lessons
And
Cradles cigarettes
Your temper
Is that of a lion
Patient with the cubs
Until one day
You snap
You are the strongest
weak man I have ever met
You pathetic hero
You courageous disaster
You are so ugly
Yet so beautiful
You are a contradiction
Because of you
I love
I hate
I learn
I pray
I learn how to feel
Because you show me
High
And low
Heaven
And hell
You are a devilish God
You are my grandpa
And
Somehow
I still
I love you
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I hope you can be elightened to the dangers of addiction.