Who I want to be

The images of the outside from my car window
Pass as the time seems to follow;
Like a wave, time washes over me,
and I allow it to sweep my inhibitions.
Maturity! I yell to the wind,
I can only see what future holds for me!
When I grow up I want to be successful,
I want to be the one who never loses their loose change
I want to be the one to always say the right words
I want to keep a perfect little, quiet garden.
I want to be the one who chooses Mozart over Taylor Swift
I want to have the patience to tie my shoes the right way instead of tucking in the laces
I want to be the one who keeps their room organized.

Then, as the waves subside, I realize my footprints are
No longer visible.
The waters of time that I had once so desperately called out for,
Now sinking to my feet.
And the powers of time and growth,
Seem to have ran out.
I no longer want to grow up.

I  want to take no risks
I don't want to be who I am now

I don't want to skip homework to hang with friends
I don't want to sit and laugh with my family when there is a project to do
I don't want to always take the safe way out
I don't want to be awfully good at making excuses to get out of doing chores so I could nap
I don't want to be interesting or fun
I don't want to live my life with a thousand watt smile

Dear waters,
The growth,
for which I had deeply mis-romanticized
Is not the future I had asked for.
I don't want to be who i want to be when i'm older.






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