i.

I feel like a tiger, she says

and digs her nails into her skin

to show me.

I feel trapped.

sometimes I want to scream.

the dregs of my own shriekds

still hot in my throat.

our words crumble with emotion.

in a single frayed moment,

we are slaves in egypt

we are lying under the guillotine

we are starved and broken

bodies marked with golden stars.

watching her rip herself open

I want to grab her hands

find the words that will mend us.

too late, though. I'm

slamming my head against the wall

she's ripping herself apart

eyes open in the dark

we're chasing a prayer

that's already slipped away.

ii.

this pain is slick and somber

with greasy marrow

and a beating heart.

it melts on my hands

leaves a sheen that

doesn't disappear.

its tentacles always upon me.

try to stay afloat

it says. struggle to keep

your head up 

as you watch your friends

go under.

their screams

dissolve like smoke

in the night.