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A Poem for Me

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I’ve never bought into the
idea that we are shaped
from star matter, of
fallen pockets of light
gracing the sky, erupting
into the kind of chaos
people don’t recognize
as chaos,
I have never bought into the
idea that the earth’s core
shakes for us.

We have formed this idea in our heads
that blades of grass fold under our
toes because they are creating a
pathway for us,
that the velvet surface of a flower petal
is kissing our fingers,

but the earth does not spin for us,
the sharp winds that batter against
your window at night are not
whispering to you,
and the hazel of my eyes
was not crafted to your liking.

I am not the sun or any star
that sleeps in the silky cocoon of night.
I was not born into this life
to love you.
I will not let you drink my blood,
I will not become lesser than I am
to personify your idea of beautiful,
I am beautiful because I am here,
because I have a heart that drums against
my ribs,
because I have ribs to protect
my lungs,
because I have lungs to fill
with air, not because I have finally
lived up to your idea of what a girl
should be;
lips stained red, long hair that ripples
like a sea dipped sun, innocent eyes
that hold the universe in their core, that
look up to you and only you,
my love for you will create veins
and bands on the earth’s belly,
my love for you will grow like an elm
tree, running it’s fingertips along
the skyline, it will make you feel
like you are the ocean, that you are
every living, breathing wave that carries
the sun’s rays on it’s back,
but this love is my love,
this life is my life,
and it was not crafted for you.

I am a whole being with or without you,
I will create my own waves,
I will capture the luminosity stars
emulate in the palms of my hands
and become the universe itself,
I will be the elm whose branches
the sun cannot burn,
I will permeate the ozone,
but I will never be the oxygen
you breathe,
and I will never live for anybody
but my own self.





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