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Thank you

By , olympia, WA

I am sitting here and thinking
I am thinking about all that has happened to me
And i am thinking of all that i’ve done
People around me dont hear my thoughts
People don’t see them either
Even when they are painted in neon on a banner in the sky
My face protects my mind from any bandits of thought and emotion
My movements protect me too
So i can sit here and think and nobody will know why

I’ve been torn and shattered then put back together
Only to be obliterated once more
I’ve walked on you, only to ask for more
You’ve promised things you couldn’t do
And left me wondering why

I tried to make you stay
But you had better things to do
I tried to manipulate, but you didn’t even flinch
You broke my back and grabbed my neck
You took my innocence
You broke my wall and beat my mind
I thought it was fine
You were a great con man
I’ll give you that
But you never really cared

You choose mule over stallion
Demon over angel
What did you want
What do you want
You tore the wings off my back
And i let you
You gave them to the demon, to let her learn to fly
I’m stuck here on the ground, wandering aimlessly

You broke me, yes
But I broke me too
I let you do those things to me
Except one unforgivable act
You stole me and hurt me in many ways
Yet one of them has stuck with me, buried in my mind
I told you no, but you didn’t listen
I lay there and cried.
Did you hurt then?
Did you feel remorse?
Guilt?
Pity?
Or did you feel pleasure and satisfaction at what you had done
This happened two more times that year, thank you very much
Now I can’t trust someone to treat me all that right

I sit here and think
About all that was done
And now i want to thank you
For showing me the light
You showed me what i do not want
What I completely despise
I learned to hate that day
You are my worst nightmare
But you used to be my best dream
Now i’ve learned a good lesson
With help from you
I know you didn’t do this to teach me
But still
Thank you

 






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