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How to Avoid Setting the Table
When that wretched phrase is called
“IT’S TIME FOR DINNER”
Second instinct is to respond with equal gusto
But
This is where it gets slippery
Don’t go just yet.
The table is your enemy
Where vulnerability is at its highest
The moment where hunger is at its highest
Sneaking a little bite to calm the beast
But you are caught and
To your dismay
Scolded
To avoid your ultimate demise at the dinner table
When responding, you must do so with a little lilt
Also known as the “I am a good child and will follow your order voice”
Convincing enough that now
All you hear is silence
IMMIEDIATLEY
Plop back down and continue your ever present procrastination
Wait to your hearts content
Write a book
“Finish your homework”
Watch an episode of your favorite show
But all the while
Listen keenly for the clacking of plates
Once the time waited is enough
Descend the stairs with great care
Take great care to descend with great urgency
Before anyone asks
Before the parents open their mouths
Filled with irritation
The aggravation
Clear as day
Pecking the food
You must answer
With great urgency
your very best excuse
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