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The Dreadful Eighteen

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The sparks left
The tingle in my stomach on Christmas Day
And sleepless nights
To catch a glimpse of the Easter bunny
All these magical feelings gone.

No more stories from when I was six of mermaids
Or how my dad fought off the Yeti
No more imaginary friends
Or dressing up in costumes
So I can be Captain Jack
On the Black Pearl in the open ocean.

No longer am I a stupid kid
No more second chances
Now it's one and done.

The carefree days of Sixteen
When I laugh with friends
And argue with my parents
over how late to stay out
Are over now.

Now I have to know what I want
Make my own appointments
No longer can I ask for help from my parents

This is the beginning of hard decisions
Choosing what college,
What career,
Who I want to spend the rest of my life with.

There is no time to pretend,
For make believe house,
For long drives with friends
Where we Talk for hours about nonsense.

Instead it's the start of goodbyes
Goodbye to familiar faces
down the orange tinted halls of high school,
Goodbye to coaches and teammates
I have spent everyday with for four years,
Goodbye to my pets who
brighten up any day,
Goodbye to silly voices, jokes,
and best friends to talk to
about the future and favorite tv shows with,
Goodbye to family hugs and curling up in my own bed.

The life of pure bliss is over
No matter how hard I try
I can not turn back the clock
Oh what I would give to be
Four, ten, thirteen, or sixteen again
Instead I'm stuck
Stuck as the adult
I'm meant to be.






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