Part 1-  Years 0- 8
Welcome to the World
I was born
Six weeks early
In Dartmouth Hospital 
with two other tiny babies by my side.
My parents,
Katie and Dave
Are tall
A characteristic that has seemed to make it’s way down to my siblings
but not to me.
I was a naive baby,
Brought into this world after a national tragedy and living in the discrimination





 

and fear that is the aftermath.
Welcome to the world.

Adventurers
Before I was born
My parents were adventurers.
My mother met my father
in a dingy college bar,
And it was love at first sight.
At the end of that year they moved to
To Hawaii.
And in that tropical paradise they lived peacefully
for four years.
Then it’s off to California. \
Home of
National parks,
Golden sunshine,
And snakes.
Nobody likes snakes.
Finally, it’s back to where it started,
and as they settle into a new house
In Exeter, NH
They have a new adventure waiting for them.
Well, three new adventures.

Sunshine Yellow
One of my earliest memories is sliding down my stairs,
The sun shining through the tall glass door at the end of the hall. 
In my lemon yellow dress.
My hair had just begun to grow in a few months ago
at around 3 years old.
That yellow dress is long faded,
The memories though,
Still shine like the sun in my head.

Black Dogs in Snow
Two black dogs run through my yard.
The snow is falling heavily as my siblings and I “shovel” with my dad.
Frannie is small and wiry, unable to pass through the huge piles of snow
Where Kai is big yet graceful 
as she leaps like a gazelle through the white powder. 
Frannie only has a short time left,
Old as she is,
And although I don’t remember her days as a young dog,
I would like to think that she was still happy all the way through.

My Kitten
Artemis is a tiny ball of fluff.
Black with green eyes he looks like a witch’s sidekick.
He is mine.
He is soft.
And I love him more than anything in the universe.
A warm ball of joy in this big, cold world.

Camp 1
“Hello Camp Huckins!”
A tiny, gray-haired woman stands tall in front of me.
Staring up at the tall pines,
I know this is home.

Fif
Some friendship is meant to be.
No matter how little or how much time you spend together,
It just works.
I believe that very few people have this type of friendship. 
But I was lucky to find my forever friend at 8 years old.
I met her during my first year of summer camp.
Her bunk was next to mine.
Her bedding was white with pink flowers.
She had yellow converse.
I had purple ones.
Can I read your comic?
I spoke those words early in the morning one day,
The sun shining bright rays across our faces.
Her long blond hair falling down the side of her bed,
She replied
Sure.
Little Miracle 1
My brothers and I are considered miracle babies. Most triplets are born with disabilities, mental and physical, most triplets live difficult lives, unable to live life to the fullest, most triplets are not okay the way we are. My grandma used to say that we’re three little miracles, and I guess she’s right.

Part 2- Years 9-11

Camp 2
At dinner we reunite.
We spent a year apart and now we are back together.
Finally.
In the Beginning
In the beginning everything was black and white.
I knew right
From wrong
And Good
From bad
But know the lines blur.
And now I find myself unsure.

Camp 3
Cabin O,
Fiffy and I,
Summer could never be better.

The Sleeping Souls
I can feel the vibrations through the floor,
I bounce on my toes,
Too excited to stand still.
Energy flows through the crowd,
And when the faint drum beat begins to become louder,
And the mass of people underneath the balcony erupt into song,
And all I can do is stare. 

The Beach
Although I am not a good swimmer,
I have always loved water.
Especially the ocean.
The smell of the salt seems to call my name,
And when the water assaults my senses
And I have to come up for air,
It's the most welcome feeling in the world.

Little Miracle 2
For me, miracles are not a religious thing. They come in the form of chocolate, and books, and cats. Especially my cat. At a year and a half old he is a little miracle full of sass and covered in black fur, satan mixed with an angel, a cat who thinks he’s a dog. A little ball of fur who listens and rubs against your legs when you cry. Who’s long tail wraps around my arm like a monkey when I pick him up. A little miracle in this world that’s about to collapse.

Part 3- Years 12+13

Invincible
When you’re 12 you never expect things to hurt.
You feel invincible,
I mean you’re in middle school now,
You’re cool!
But J, you hurt me
More than any
Beesting
Or broken bone
Or burn could ever.
And you never even realized it.

The C-Word
Cancer sucks.
There’s no other way to put it.
But it sucks even more when you know that your grandmother is going to die from it in about 2 years and there’s nothing you can do.

Camp 4
Beach volleyball on the island
Consumes my days,
After these two weeks summer will never be the same.

It’s The End of The World As We Know It 
On this day, 
At the end of August
My world begins to fall to pieces.

Raindrops
As I sit in this church
Staring up at the statue of crucified Jesus in front of me,
I feel numb.
She wanted this on a sunny day
And as I stare up at the sky 
The dark clouds open up
And raindrops fall heavy and cold,
Concealing my tears.

Late November
Walking into school with the weight of a tragedy on my shoulders I can’t breathe.
No one knows but me.
We were the first called.
I shouldn't be here
I shouldn't be here
I shouldn't be here
Yet I am.

Thirteen
I don’t want to be here anymore.
Eighth period social studies seems to last 50 years
Instead of 50 minutes.
I can’t hold it together much longer.
Thoughts scratch the front of my head,
Leaving thick lines of gore in their way.
And soon the tears begin to well up.
Don’t Cry Don’t Cry DON’T CRY
Well, too late now.
13 is too young to feel this sad. 

Camp 5
Half a decade I have spent by the lake
In the cabins as white as fresh snow.
Listening to the haunting sound of the loons.

Little Miracle 3
I never thought that I would love a place as much as I love Camp Huckins. I love the smell of the pines, and the cold lake, and the tiny cabins, and the sound of the loons, and the campers. Camp is heaven on Earth, a place of freedom and happiness, where miracles come in the form of chocolate chip pudding and finally learning how to make a friendship bracelet and rain on a boiling hot day.

Part 4- Years 14+15

Ow
Middle school is difficult to navigate.
Middle school is the hardest time in your life,
The adults around me say in unison.
And I have never heard truer words.
Especially when your “friends”
would rather hide their
Parties, get-togethers, hangouts,
Than
Invite
You.

I don’t think you realize that the world doesn’t revolve around you.
You were not the only one affected by her death,
So don’t act like it.

Excusez-moi? 
The fact that you tell me I’m overreacting when defending my brother tells me all I need to know.

Yellow Dresses
When I was younger I used to wear yellow,
But as the world wore me down,
I switched to blacks and grays,
But for this one night,
The yellow is going to make its return.

Aapa
Watching a pet get ripped apart is something I wish on no one,
Not my worst enemy,
Not my horrible science class,
No one.

Camp 6
Sisters back together
The way we should always be
Together, not 492.6 miles apart.

The Tsunami
Walking into the lobby of Exeter High School in August
I felt a tsunami of fear unlike anything I’ve ever
Felt
Rise up behind me.
See at this point
The only people who wanted to hang out this summer
Were my older co-workers
And my best friend since I was four.
Except, I had no classes with my co-workers
And Dacha didn’t start at PEA for another few weeks.
My brothers quickly migrate over to their friends,
New and old,
And I am left standing alone
As the tsunami creeps up behind me,
Drowning me.

In a Sea of Sharks I Sat
Dear boy from math class,
Hello.
It is me, Anna.
Yes! The girl who turned your back to on the first day of school.
Yes, the stressed out freshman
Whose knees were shaking under her desk
And whose hands were shaking on top of it.
I know that you didn’t mean to hurt my feelings,
You seem like a nice guy,
But you turning your back to me
made me feel like even more of an outsider.
A freshman in a class of sophomores.
A minnow in a sea of sharks.
A mouse in a room full of cats.
So,
Thank you for that.
See this occurrence wouldn’t be so bad,
But you see,
After they found out that I wasn’t a sophomore like the rest of them,
That I was sitting there as a member of the class of 2020,
Not 2019,
I was ostracized.
So a little bit of kindness would have been a little bit helpful.

Both
If there is one thing I hate,
More than anything in this world
It’s when people ask me
Who my favorite sibling is.
Ummmmmmm
Neither.
That is like asking me
Which lung I prefer to breathe out of
Or which leg I’d rather lose
Or which middle finger I’ll give you if you ask.
The answer:
Both.

I Hope You Know
I am not sure if this is common knowledge or not,
But at least in my world,
I can comment on or be mean to my brothers
But
You
Can
Not.
So next time you say
Patrick is so stupid
Or
Just ditch that friendship
When someone is talking to or about my brothers,
I’m going to say the same thing to you.

Friends
There seems to be a pattern of friendship in my life.
I have an amazing friend,
A best friend,
For years.
Then they suddenly drop me.
Leaving me alone in the deep sea, with no flotation device.
I just hope it doesn’t happen with you.

Dormant
After a while the tsunami became dormant.
The ocean settled down,
The waves were calm.
I no longer felt as if I was suffocating as I walked through the halls.
It was smooth swimming for a little bit.
It almost seemed as if I was past the deep end.
Well, it was nice while it lasted.

Why Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?
One of the worst things
About social media
Is the fact that I can see everything.
My old friends getting together without me
My new friends getting together without me.
It’s like I don’t even exist
Like I don’t even come to mind.
Well, at least it’s not a new development.
I have been left out of plenty events,
Oh, we just didn’t know you’d want to come,
Sorry, I could only bring 5 people
No offense, you just weren’t invited.
Their insincere apologies float through my mind
like butterflies, they swoop and they glide
A reminder that I will always be forgotten.
A reminder that I will always be invisible.
That I have never been someone’s first choice.

La Classe de Français
I sit in a
Cold
Dark
Room
Filled with computers.
It is too early for this.
No class should start at 7:30.
The sky is cloudy and dark,
The snow hasn’t begun to melt.
My peers fill the room with sound.
Nervous laughter and random French words attack my ears.
The chaos before the storm
It is all too much.
Then my test begins,
Bad French accents and mispronounced t’s attack my ears like hornets.
My headphones cannot block the noise
Of the blood rushing in my ears.
And soon enough,
I cannot breathe. 

Dacha
We met in preschool,
All those years ago,
And without you,
Nothing would be the way it is now.
But now, I never see you.
School and violin consume your day,
Leaving no time for me.
Which is kinda fine,
I mean I completely understand,
But why can’t I meet your PEA friends?
Are you trying to keep your worlds separate?
Is it because I don’t have a lot of money?
Or because I don’t go to a fancy private school?
I just want to know.

Compliments
Anna, you are so pretty. You’re lucky.
The person I am checking out books to tells me.
And one of the hardest things in the world
Is for me to accept this compliment.
Why?
I don’t really know.

Camp 7
This year is the end of an era.
The end of summers under the pines,
The end of cabins, and braids, and friendship bracelets. 
But, I’m not ready for it to end.

Little Miracle 4
My math class is a group of hungry sharks. They seem to always be looking for blood in the water, prowling through the reef of desks on the hunt for the little minnows they call the freshman. I thought I was the only minnow. Yes, there’s the clownfish who they keep around to laugh at, and the remora they use only to get themselves further, but I didn’t see any more minnows. Stressed and alone I sat, until another minnow, with another A name, and another nervous laugh sat next to me one day. In this sea of sharks, I now have a friend.

Life’s an Ocean 
My English teacher is telling me that I need to end this “book”, 
So this is what I have to say.
Life is like an ocean.
When it starts the water is shallow and clear,
You know what's good
What's bad
Who loves you, and who you love back.
You're surrounded by minnows like yourself,
Who are just as scared and just as small.
But as you venture out into the deep,
You realize that life's not like the beach.
The water is cold,
And all the minnows seem to have left you behind,
Looking for bigger and better things.
Soon you find yourself surrounded by sharks.
They gnaw at your fins and leave you sad and lonely,
And soon a tsunami will sweep you away. 
You will find yourself confused and lost,
In the wide ocean that is as full of life as it is death,
As you swim through the dark alone,
Just when you think you’ll be okay
there will be another tsunami.
It will rip you up and away from the little spot you’ve found and back into the depths of the ocean. 
But you will find your school.
You will find new minnows who don’t leave,  You will make it past the sharks and past the deep end.
And you will find your beach.
Because little miracles do happen.