Do you ever forget how to love?
Forget the way that their hands felt intertwined with yours.
The hope in their eyes when they talk to you and you found joy in yours.
I knew, I knew I shouldn't have gotten close I only get hurt that way.
I told myself I wasn't going to get close to another human being because when you get close to people you get hurt.
I'm tired of being hurt by a thing that is only failed in my life.
My heart hurts I'm not used to this crushing feeling.
I'm also not used to writing about whatever we had.
I'm in a paradox of wanting to remember those joyful moments we had together and wanting to forget them at the same time because they just hurt too bad.
I want to forget how to love you.
Was it even love could you call it that we are so young love should not even be in our vocabulary yet it is everywhere we look.
Nothing happened between us and maybe that was because I waited too long to tell you how I felt, or maybe it was that you were meant to fall out of whatever we had.
Maybe I am meant to learn from this pain but when I think of you I can't breathe and I can't talk about what I felt because it's not normal.
It's not what I envisioned myself feeling at this age.
I say at this age like I'm old and I know I'm not I know there is years ahead of me, but what is the point if I can't even talk about how I felt for another person.
Too young to call it love and too old to call it liking someone.
I didn't like you for your face or your brains I liked you because you were nice you seem to care about me that is the first thing I noticed.
You chose to help a lost little girl make friends that day.
I think what really scares me is that you felt what I felt, thought what I thought.
I wish there was some way to forget how I felt how I feel.
I told you mine was over but I'm not so sure that's how that works.
How do you go one day carrying the world for another but not caring if it fell on them the next.
I wish I knew how not love you.