Rocking Away into Heaven

May 30, 2017

Just two days into our vacation in Dominican Republic.
Suddenly I woke up in fear around 11 p.m at night.
I heard loud screams  which I thought were of joy and excitement.
So I ran as fast as I could to see what was going on.

But there you were, as pale as a ghost, sitting in your rocking chair.
My heart sank into my chest because the only thing that came to mind were negative thoughts--I couldn’t stay positive.

They said he would be okay. So they said. 
I realized they didn’t tell me that same day because they didn’t want to hurt me.
But they told me the truth the next day.

I tried to be strong
I tried to hold everything inside
I tried not shed a tear

but all my eyes wanted to do was make you appear.
All of the memories that we once had,
rushed into brain and I didn’t want it to stop
I couldn't take everything in,
It felt like I was in a big dream,
but all I wanted to do was wake up and make everything normal again.

As time goes by, all I  have are faint memories of you.
The pictures that I have of you can’t fill the empty space that were once full.

I only had you for 12 years.
I didn’t really appreciate the time I had with you.
I took you for granted, and now I wish I didn’t.

You worked most of the day, so the time I spent with you was short.
But now, I wish that I could have hugged you   longer, kissed you goodnight,
and held your hand tighter.

We ended with a small argument. 
And I didn’t even say goodbye to you.

The last image I have of you was when you were resting peacefully in your casket.
Seeing you there holding a red rose in your hand,
knowing that you would never wake up,
Knowing that you would never come back home from work at the same time,
Knowing that you would never kiss me goodnight,
Knowing that my family would never be complete again--
All of this hit me so hard

Seeing mom cry while holding your hand made me feel overwhelmed.
So I left from there, and that was the last time I saw your body.

Physically you are no longer here, but you will always be in my heart.
You are now my guardian angel in heaven that protects me.
May you rest in peace, Dad.
I love you so much!

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