What They Don't Teach You in School About Bulling

I think the world would be a better place without math
The subject I always excelled in,
Fractions were my friends
A squared plus B squared was my religion.
English was the same
I before E except after C
U’s always follow Q’s
I was a nerd.
I took that as an insult of course:
Dork
Geek
Dweeb
Words thrown into empty space
The dictionary of insults known by every student.
Everyday it was something, someone new.

They used to tell us about bullying;
When one person habitually hurts you, emotionally or physically-
Rarely is this the case.
Kids are like vultures
Smelling fresh meat wherever they walk
Tearing you apart so they can stay alive.
Kids are like parrots
Repeating words they hear around them.
Every time we were made fun of it was like an echo from the past-
The taunting of another kid, a different day.
If the names we were called were all collected it’d be a book the size of the bible.
The list of kids who got in trouble is a blank paper.
Because bullying could only come from one person
When the comments are divided up it’s just teasing.

We ignored it as much as possible-
Told ourselves their words meant nothing,
And that sticks and stones couldn’t even break our bones.
But the words were like pounds we were desperate to lose
Fattening us with imperfections.
We ignored the comments,
But eventually the obesity caught up with our health
And our flaws made their way to our psyche.
The mirror would call us four eyed freaks.
Our hair spun out in all directions like the strands were snakes.
We were desperate to keep them in place
because we couldn’t take another insult.
The adults told us to ignore it
ignore it
ignore it
It won’t matter in ten years
But the words were like a bobby pin hot with fire
It’s ten years later and the scars of their words still visible.

We’re all raised by evil teachers-
Determined that we live up to their overwhelming expectations
Anything short is failure
Anything short you’re stupid
Anything short you’re a disappointment.
And these words echo in our head but they refuse to fade
Unless they come out of our mouths
Insulting others to save ourselves.

The words are like waves;
Our brain is the moon
Forcing tidal waves of insults to wash up to shore.
Maybe her hair is gross
But our brains can’t continue forcing words out of our mouths.
Gravity is not the cause of cruelness dripping from your lips.
We become soaked with self loathe
Ignoring the words until we can’t.

Clawing up the mountain of ignorance
It’s the only place with bliss
But it’s a 90 degree angle and there’s no way back up once you fall.
The bottom of the mountain is a dark black abyss
With tentacles and claws trying to drag you down
And it’s hard not to fall in
And you fall and fall and fall
Until you don’t know which way is up
And you hit rock bottom.

But it’s not rocky at all
You’re cushioned by demons
Promising to bring you to the top if you don’t eat
If you slash your skin
If you throw up your lunch
If you work out until you can no longer stand-
But they lie.

Your hands start bleeding from trying to climb up the glass walls
And before you’re about to give up completely
There’s a shimmer of light
And an angel grabs your hand
And you slowly fly up together.

Our flaws formed a bubble around us
Not letting anybody in
Afraid that they’d pop the bubble sending memories of cruelness crashing down.
Friends were foes-
They’d only leave us drowning in soapy water.
But we were wrong.
A friend patches up the wounded parts of you
Damaged by the knives of a fake friend’s words
They lift you out of the abyss
Into the world where everything is full of beauty
And sticks and stones can’t break your bones
Words can’t hurt you anymore.

They taught us in elementary school a bully was one person
But the truth is the world is a bully.
They don’t teach you there isn’t always someone in particular to blame so
We grow up blaming ourselves because
If everyone makes fun of us there must be something wrong
But the only flaw is society
Eating away at our self esteem
Pouring out of a person's mouth like vomit,
The stomach acid never washing off
Gnawing at our skin to our bones.
It needs to be neutralized by a base-
The only chemical strong enough is kindness.






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