Trust me, If I had a heart

It’d be yours already
You might call me a liar,
and maybe I am
But Baby, I can’t ever know for sure,
I can have one again.

When I was younger, I met a girl
She had this long blonde hair, and these big amazing green eyes
Whenever she walked by, I could feel my heart flutter
And whenever she whispered my name
I felt my heart get warm and fuzzy
And all I wanted to do, was call her mine
We had fun for a little while
but I soon learned, she wanted nothing holding her back
I saw her kissing someone else one day
and in that moment I felt my heart break
She walked out of my life
And a piece of my heart went with her

I was hurt, but I needed to be strong, and hold hope close
I knew that somewhere out there
she was waiting for me
and she would make me so happy

For so long, I waited and searched for her
Searched for her love
She, who would make me whole again
And then, I saw her, and everything became okay again

She was so beautiful, everything about her
They way she walked, The way she spoke, Everything
I just knew she was special
but things like her, never tend to stick around
She would call me every other day
She’d profess her love for me on Monday
but be gone by Friday
She loved to lift my hopes up, just to watch them crash down
Every time she left, she loved to take a piece of my heart
But one day, she didn’t call anymore, the texts stopped, and all was silent
But I still wanted her.
She moved on, but I didn’t

But still, I held a little bit of hope close to my heart
I still believed to some extent, she was out there
Waiting for me, For the day we would meet
And, the more I searched, The more it seemed hopeless
I just couldn’t find her.
But I knew, I knew she was out there
With the little hope I had left,
I gathered myself and continued my search

When I was just about to give up
When I was ready to throw the towel
I happened to cross paths with this woman
From the minute I saw her,
I knew she would turn my world upside down
But, just like the last time, it was for the worst.

She was the most incredible woman I’d ever met
She was funny, kind, caring, simply amazing
She made me feel loved again
Hell, she almost made me feel whole again
But, once she knew i would be unable to leave
The real her showed up
She became a whole new person
She only wanted to use me, and the things I could give her
Suddenly she despised my personality, and wanted to change it
She wanted me to do things I didn’t want to
The woman I had fallen in love with was gone
So one day when the last piece of my heart was gone
I left. Sad, Heartless and Broken
But away from her

So I moved on from love
I was now sure, that love was something we didn’t all get
Some people were lucky to have it, Some just didn't
It was just so simple
How could I believe in love, When I had no heart

I don’t think anyone could relate to what I felt
The big black emptiness within
I felt cheated by life
I had lost all will to feel, so I went on, the only way I knew how to
On Autopilot

I slept, ate, studied, exercised, and slept again
I focused on making myself better in society’s eyes
I could act like everything was fine, Laugh on cue,
seem empathetic then needed
But love,
Love was the one thing I could never Fake

All I had left was living
and finding a way for it all to seem worth it
But nothing, nothing
could have prepared me for when I met Her

She was nothing like I’d ever met before
She was Kind, with everyone she met
She was careless, but was always there for me
She didn’t take things seriously, but was knew when to be firm
She loved to laugh about the silliest of things
She could turn the saddest day, into a happy one
And I loved every second in her presence

She made me want to love again
She made me want to live and experience life again
But somehow I couldn’t
I was so scared of falling in love, and getting hurt again
I was so afraid to let her see me, the real me
Against all I wanted, I distanced myself from her
I’d rather leave, Than be left behind
But the more I tried the useless it seemed
Try as I might, I couldn’t get her out of my mind.
I tried, oh boy, I really tried, but I couldn’t
So I stopped, and maybe, Just maybe
That’s the best I’ve ever taken

I let her in
I let her see what clouded my soul and Darkened my mind
I let her see all the parts of me that weren’t all that pretty
I let her see all that was missing
I expected her to run away
To gather her things and leave me
Alone, Damaged, On the edge of Breaking

But she stayed
She opened up herself
And I saw it wasn’t all that pretty either
Pieces of her that were missing
Her heart was broken as well
But without a trace of doubt in her eyes
She took half of her heart
and said:

I know you might feel empty right now,
that the void inside of you is deep
But look into my eyes and accept this heart of mine
Let us help each other to grow
I might not love you right now
and might not love me at all
But please, let’s stick together
and maybe, just maybe, love might spur
It’s really easy you know
We just have to wait and see