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Attention

By , Fort Worth, TX

I'm not seeking attention
That was not my intention.
between us grows tension.
Please know that this is not a shot at redemption
Because I honestly do not care.
I just think it's unfair, that you fit me into a slot and you choose to keep me there.
You think I want people to look at me and stare.
You look at me with an offensive glare.
While others laugh and say I'm a mess,
you look at me as if I'm grotesque.
Making me feel like I'm something less.
Look, I'm just trying to be my best.
I'm not trying to impress.
Yet you choose to tell me where you think I belong
when I'm not doing anything wrong!
I'm just trying to make people happy.
But you come at me and you attack me.
You push and you throw me,
when you don't even know me.
You think I think there's people below me.
The truth is I'm just feeling kinda lonely.
I wish my mom could come and hold me.
Help me remember that I'm a part of something bigger.
Can't remember how many times I thought I could just  pull the trigger.
Because of the words that people say.
Because of the words you said today.
I Don't know why you wanna make me feel this way.
So I shake my head and I say I'm okay.
When I'm really broken, because the words that have been spoken.
Trying not to let the world take me as it's token.
But when you and I collide,
I can't decide whether it be better if I died
or if I'd never been born and now I'm torn
because I could've sworn that things were getting better!
I’m Hiding my scars underneath my sweater.
I don't want you to know that I'm hurting or that it's my life that I'm planning on deserting
Because The words you were screaming.
The words you were blurting.
"you’re an attention getter, I’m not your babysitter!
Why can't you just act your age?"
It's these words that fill me with rage,
so I took that pain and I put it on a page. 
Not to tell you that you suck,
but to tell you that if you're trying to get rid of me, well then you're out of luck.
Because I'm not leaving I'm here and I'm breathing. 
I'm not going away I'm here and I'm here to stay.
There are people in this town that need me around,
so you can put me down,
but I will not wear frown.
I  refuse to be someone else.
I choose to love myself.
Now just in case you forgot to listen or in case I forgot to mention
please remember that  I do not need your attention.






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