Victim | Teen Ink

Victim

April 19, 2017
By Anonymous


I am a victim
Awaken at moonlight
Nightmares and night terrors
Bloodshot eyes and pale lips
Sweat drips down my forehead
Ringing in my ears
At the thought of you
Taking away my soul
I am a victim
I wrap my body in love and hope
Hoping it will take away my fears
And piece my body back up
But I can only think of reasons of
Why it was my fault
"Maybe if I didn't dress that way"
"Maybe if I didn't flirt"
"I lead him on"
The list goes on
I stopped eating
I wanted to stop breathing
Stopped living
I ostracized everyone, even myself
I started cutting
And stopped loving myself
Even though I was the victim
People treated them like they were
Day by day
Week by week
Fear is my only friend
Fear is tagging along with me in hallways
Fear holds my hand during lunch
Fear follows me walking home
Fear hugs me during class
Fear follows me during a full moon
Fear follows me in daylight
You are a thief of
My innocence
Notice I did not say my virginity
I'm much more than back dimples
And lace black underwear
I'm much more than the way I walk
Or how my back curves
I'm much more than the way my shoulder makes you feel
I'm much more than a sex object
I'm much more than a silky bra
I am still a virgin
I will not let you take that away from me
My body is a temple
Made up of trees
And blossoming of roses and lilies
I am a forest
Made for love
And forgiveness
And compassion
You were wildfire
You set my body on fire
Full of hatred and pain
You burned down my securities
And made insecurities
With your hand on my breast
With your words choking me
With your eyes burning my soul
Rape is not your typical setting
Rape can happen in back alley ways
But
Rape can also happen in a classroom
Rape can happen in a hallway where no one can see
You screaming out for help
You stole my voice
I was silent
I couldn't speak after what you had done to me
The sound of your voice slits my wrists
Your hot, sweaty breath strangles me
Unable to breathe
Or live
Your face is imprinted in my mind
For it scars and kills me
Little by little
I am dying
This is for every girl
Who was raped
Or was touched when they said no
Or when they didn't say yes
This is for every girl who feels unsafe
Or vulnerable
Or embarrassed
Or in pain
I can still feel your touch, and it stings
It punctures my heart
My soul is lost
My mind is in a fog from the thought of you slipping your hand down my back
And up my leg
I am a victim



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