May 17, 2017
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An heir to the name, molded for a life I never wanted.
Told to act like a lady of the 1900’s, be seen not heard.
Never complain about my pains that wrack through my body.
Told to shut up and smile,
even if it’s just for a while

Held to a higher standard,
Failing is never the option.
A mother who expects a girl to act like a women.
My screams never register
My sighs never heard
My side no one seems to take

I feel that to fail is to dishonor those I claim to love.
It would be better it seem to slit my own wrist and pray,
that my failure spills out.

Dreaming of a brighter future.
Sadly those dreams and darkened by a mother's spite.
Hope to understand why…
Why do we cut those we love

She tells me I need to be stronger, maybe someone will help me.
I don’t need anyone I scream.
No knight in shining armor to save me today.
This is no fairy tale, this story has no happy ending.

Where were you when I was dying?
Crying on the sidelines with regret in your eyes.
You compare your pains to mine. Don't make me laugh.
You never felt the soul crushing defeat of knowing you are not normal.
Im the one with no cure.
You cry for the job you left.
I cry for the mother I never had.

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