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Ignorance

“Do your parents love you?”
With those words...
I pray she never has to witness ignorance
Of the questions that would be asked
I didn’t know
If the answers seemed obvious
I knew
Of confusion
Created by titles
Fueled by ignorance
These choices that don’t seem to be yours
For her, she hopefully understands
I didn’t want this life
I needed it
I didn’t want a sense of security
Problems don’t just disappear
Learned through giving life
To give up, it’s a choice
But understand there’s no burden
Love is a sacrifice
Love is a blessing
The definition of
A mistake, you’re mistaken
You were never
Willing to listen
I panicked, but  I contemplated,
They won’t ever know
What this feels like
Why should I worry?
I can’t expect to help someone else
If I’m barely taking care of myself
I’ve always known
Meant to be my own, a part of a mystery
She was not
Unloving or abusive
I hope I am not seen as
This peculiar creature 
Alienated
I’m assumed as unworthy
Barely withstanding prodding questions
And opinions inflicted on me
Morphed the views of myself
And I look away from the mirror, and it’s pitty
I see the days you haven’t lived
Like me
I hope you never have to experience pure numbness
I lost myself already
Lost identities
Cannot be excuses for multiple:
“It will go back to normal.”
Feelings.
You know your/you’re
“Real parents?”
Who fits that category?
I know who raised me, taught me
Well, there’s no such thing
As an “unreal” parent /?
I shouldn’t care
I want to discover a part of me
Even if it hurts
A topic that has to be brought up
And it is a truth
Love is regardless
Just know,
Isolation builds up walls
Boulders of silence weigh me down
A story, a beginning
Missing
Pages
I tore out
My wandering thoughts
Chasing
Remorse I held for wondering
That I was the one causing
A mirage of a decline, I felt 
I timidly projected curiosity
I looked in that mirror
Because it is the only similar face I have
But I can’t comprehend why my reflection is so strange
I saw me
As people tried to see you
Relatives are relative
And the reality of relativity is that
Before I saw her again,
I walked away
I was not going to handle bare un-necessities
I feel like I’ve been through it all already
Even though there’s a whole life ahead
I know people will need explanations
Blessing me with ignorance
Granting kindness, or
Silence
With brown eyes
A blue heart
A stubby stature
Keen in tall dreams
Personality labels
Generalized
Theoreticized
More questions will be
Confusingly sincere.
I acknowledge the loose ends,
What’s holding me down?
Please think
If you were in my place
I’m sure you would know
Love is difficult
Love not meant to be kept
The better good,
Understand this was for
Love
Think through
Every choice that has to be made
I taught myself
That this is okay
I chose
What self love is
She may define
With those words
“Aren’t you adopted?”






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