I Do Try

May 19, 2017
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So, you grew up thinking only sticks, and stones could break your bones.
As if the words we?e called did not amount to the injuries, and physical appearance someone sustained.
These words tearing you down; dig, dig, digging this endless pit of agonizing misery.
You try to escape this pit, but you can only get so far before falling down again.
Then people judge you, because apparently you?e not trying hard enough!
As if there was no struggle to even get up in the morning.
Contemplating weather today is the day to live, or to die.
But, no. Of course you don't take into consideration that I spend day, after wrecked day in mental facilities, and locked bathrooms.
Trying to decide if I should take the pills, or slit my wrists, after plunging my fingers down my throat.
Trying to make myself throw-up, because even though the people at church say ¨Only God can judge us!¨.
I still feel as if I will never be pretty enough.
Because, society has up believing that if we don't have our ribs showing through out T-shirts.
Now tell me again that I? being selfish for wanting to kill myself, and that I should try harder, because: All I ever do is try!

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