they describe your first heartbreak as a romantic one
when the guy
or girl
your heart is desperately in love with
doesn't feel the love towards you
they describe it
as
a heartbreak
in which
you feel so much
and it's undescribable and inevitable
when in reailty (or something hoped one day is the reality),
your first heartbreak could've been prevented
if you didn't see so much anger in one night
mixed with screaming
and shouting
and madness
and impatience
and confusion
and tears
and violence
and alcohol
and blood
it could have been prevented
if your heart didn't break every single time he hit your mom
or every single time he shouted, "I don't need you two anymore"
"go to f*****g hell"
"i'll have a better life without you"
if he didn't call you useless every time you went you with your friends
if he and his new wife weren't always on your f*****g mind,
your
heartbreak
could've been prevented.
and when people ask you
who was your first heartbreak,
you press your lips together
so the memories from inside of you wouldn't come out to see the light,
you look down because you can't handle saying it while looking into somebody else's eyes, the only eyes you see are his
full of madness and anger,
you quietly whisper under your breath in hopes people won't hear
just these two words,
"my father."