Flesh Wounds

I craved it
I liked the feeling of rubies
Spilling down my arms
Scraping my fingertips as they fell
Rough and uncut
They had weighed me down,
So now I floated
Not drowning anymore
Enveloped by a dark sea of despair
With no origin
Rubies long lost,
But for the ability to breathe
To feel air on my face
Rubies were expendable
Otherwise
Just darkness
I felt the ground give way
Crumbling
I felt my heart collapse
Falling
Following my fortune
Led to my ruin
Red rubies, riches my heart made
Tumbling to the floor
Rubies that stain the bedsheets
Rubies that stain the mahogany-finish floors
Rubies that splash the wooden desktop
and paint scissor handles bright red
And a slick blade
Like diamonds
Diamonds and rubies
I look like I’m the richest girl in the world, don’t I
With all my jewels
But you don’t see
How I still yearn to lose more gems each night
To keep me afloat
I feel as if I’m drowning
Discarding my precious stones
Discarding saves me
Discarding helps me to live
Enveloped in a dark sea of despair
Trying to break the surface
I break only when I am discarding
No origin
No light
Simply rubies,
Tumbling from my arms
Having riches,
Talk about having riches;
Riches is shunning diamond blades
Riches is the ability to not love discarding
Riches is when you never have to see rubies tumble
Because of your own self.
How rich is rich,
If your riches cause misery?
I am poor,
I am in debt, even.
I owe myself so much and yet
someday I may spill more rubies than I can make
I’ll be discarding them all,
and who will fish me out of that sea of despair, now that I float?