It'll take a long time for me to understand; if ever. Why it is so difficult for this boy to love me. He can visit my home everyday. Yes, yes, yes, I know, "visiting hours are from 6 to 12. Strictly." But please, he makes me sane. Who knows, maybe you should be in here too. But if you truly shouldn't, but you really are as perfect as I make you out to be... I will break loose. I will make a plan; escape. Why can't you love me anymore? If ever. My mind does not feel, my heart does. How can I feel anything with something so weak, so impaired, and dysfunctional. My heart is not insane. I am. "Where is that boy?" I asked the nurse. "For god's sake woman, that boy does not exist! You've gone mad!" I lost my mind all over again; if ever.