When hardship you face

An answer is raised
"Have faith"

When an obstacle appears
Engineers gear a solution
"Have faith"

When the answer is invisible
When the answer is unknown
When you're lost in the dark
Without a torch on your phone
"Have faith" is your ringtone

But what about when the question is faith
When you question your own faith

When that which you love

becomes

That which you hate
When that which you adore

becomes

That which you abhor

The answer to every question
The key to every lock
The password to every terminal
Is always "have faith"

Have hope and have faith
Be patient and believe
Be faithful and breathe

But what about when I'm lost and can't see
What about right now when I'm gone and withdrawn
What about tomorrow when the voices are louder
And my shouts have no power
When my faith is lost to me
And I become powder
Lost in the sea of others
Lost where I have no brothers
no lovers
no mothers
no people
no friends

When the end is nigh
And I wish to die
But I can't have faith
Because...
I take a pause

The law is stated for me and my faith is decided
There is no other road for me but the alley behind the store
No door for my sorrows
No rest for mere mortals

I wish there was a portal to understanding
An easy way out of this misunderstanding
Because right now I'm standing
on the precipice of disaster
No aster
No plaster for my heartache
No band aid for my broken arms
Nothing to hold up the weight of faith

Why?
Because faith has left me
I do not believe
and cannot retrieve
that which has been lost to me

I can't seem to see
the horizon anymore
So far it is that no path
is visible to me

I wish I could believe and have faith
I wish I could trust and have faith
I wish I could understand and have faith

But no, 'God' seems to have asked me a question
A question on belief
What am I
and why?

"Have faith"?
No, I'd rather not