it’s
i think about if it were a different
time or a different life
or a different season
that things would have been so much better
or worse
my timing has always
been off
it’s a flaw i haven’t had the fortune
in finding time to fix

it’s
making coffee at 2 am
because my heart is pumping out
words to quickly for my mind to comprehend
to string together coherently

it’s
staying out all night
while your mother is sound asleep in bed
next to your father
while they have no clue
how lucky you are to have two parents in love

it’s
studying the stars so much
you begin to incorporate their alignment
into your everyday conversations

it’s
wishing for more and
less all at once
and wishing you could work harder
for the things you wanted
instead of being handed
the things you never wanted.