Standing On My Tippy Toes

April 16, 2017
By ,
From the time I could walk
I went everywhere on my tippy toes
I hated the idea of dirt
If my feet got dirty
well just ask my parents
it was the end of the world

Even now
as a teenager
I walk on my toes
The gritty ashy dirt on my feet
is disgusting to me
It makes me sick

Then there was a boy
He was my whole world
let me rephrase
because that was past tense
There IS a boy
He IS my whole world
He's still around
He hasn't gone anywhere yet
and i don't know if I want him to

He cheated on me
He lied to me
He denied it
Now he's "sorry"
I don't believe it
but I want to

After what he did I stopped
walking on my tippy toes
I walk flat footed
I don't care anymore
Dirt is the least of my problems
Dirt seems so small compared
to what he did
Dirt used to disgust me
Now he does

I see my tippy toe walking
as a metaphor
You know like
walk on your toes and
you see the good in the world
You care
Maybe even a little too much
You walk flat footed and
you just don't give a shit anymore
about your problems
or about the dirt on your feet

Every now and then
I still step up onto my toes
and to me it's a sign
a sign that there may still be hope
for him
and for me
A hope for forgiveness
A hope for a second chance

Or maybe i'm just an
naive little girl
who see too much good in the world
and needs to get over
her fear of dirt

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