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Bruises and Bones

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The ache of injured skin fades into the dark bestowing a violet kiss.
Within days it turns a sickly yellow before disappearing all together,
Just like nothing ever happened.
But something did happen.
And you know because no matter how hard you try, you can’t help but remember the fear in your stomach as that shadow loomed over you and crashed down on you like a tsunami,
drowning your courage in a tumultuous storm of strikes and words that tore the shrinking soul within you.
And those gashes on the inside,
unseen and silent,
sting more than the bruises ever could.
All those night spent awake, cheeks salted, 
wondering what you could have possibly done to be treated this way are burned in your mind just like every time they told you they loved you and left a scar.
You can barely stand the sickly feeling in your stomach as everything reminds you.
Your body shakes and anxiety swallows you.
Even sounds send you reeling.
Every trigger cuts through your insides like knifes, leaving you bleeding and pale.
The fear controls you.
Consumes you.
Eating you alive
Puppet strings dictating your every move.
And the poison seeps and spreads.
You can’t eat.
You can’t sleep.
Trauma keeps you wide awake.
Screaming in your ears:
“You will never be good enough.
You deserve this pain. This… torture.”
Nothing can sooth the shattered thing inside you.
It only aches…

And then you’re eyes open
For a beautifully rare moment you feel strong.
You stand up, speak, and stutter, holding your head unbowed before the monster before you.
And you remember how strong you really are.
Your life is worth fighting for.
And you deserve so much better.
Moments when you realize you are a creature that somewhere, deep down,
Possesses heavenly light
And you deserve so much more than this hell.




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