you say you like girls

who are nice.

so I open the door

as you walk through,

smile to myself,

and walk the other way.

Then I come back.

You say you like girls

who are pretty.

so I go home, and spend all my mom's money

so I can paint my nails your favorite color.

Then when you see them,

you smile to youself

and you come back.

You say you like girls

who are funny.

so I stick my foot out in the hallway

and I watch her wipe away her tears,

with the new shirt she got for her birthday.

you laugh at her contently

so I come back.

you say you like girls

who are loyal.

so I stare at you as you kiss her

and wink at me through her brown hair,

that I can feel a knot in my chest

and wake up the next morning

so I can come back.

you say you like girls

who will do anything for you

so I went home after school

and slit each damned wrist

as you wait with a red rose

at my back door,

until you knew,

I wasn't coming back.