What do you do when you are so crazy about somebody but they don’t seem to believe you really do? When I am around her my heart beats like a bass drum. I almost forget to breathe around her. When I finally take a breath it is heavy. What do you do when you feel like you need this one person to be complete but you have screwed up repeatedly. Why can’t life be like a Word Document? Make a mistake and you can just press the undo button and it is as if it never even happened.
What do you do when you long for her hand in yours? Why does a simple thing such as a hand in your own make such a ginormous impact in your life? It’s just a hand. But it feels like so much more. Her hands so warm against your skin. You feel so unstoppable. You feel as though nothing can take you down.
What do you do when you fall and can’t get back up? How would it feel to know you have a hand stretched out ready to help you up and bring you back to life? The feeling of having somebody to clean your wounds and kiss your scars. It is a feeling that has floated off in to the distance. I can see it. But can’t feel it. It’s ventured so far that it has become a blur now. Will I ever feel that ever again or is it too far for my hands to grasp?
What do you do when you are cold and alone? You remember the way it felt to hold her in your arms, but will it ever be more than just a happy memory? Will it ever be a reality or is the only time you’ll feel her heartbeat against your chest is when your eyelids shut and the dreams begin? Oh, how I miss her in my arms.
What do you do when you’re looking deep into her soul but the spark isn’t there anymore? You still feel the flame inside you but you don’t know what’s going through her head. You have to pull the petals from flowers and hope that it ends with, “She loves me.” But does she really love you? Are the petals telling the truth or just giving you false hope?
What do you do when you feel like all hope is gone? Will she bring hope and blow the clouds away? Will the sun come out again and all be bright once more? Or will the clouds always hover over me, bringing the rain, bringing the stormy weather? I hope she comes and saves me from the storms.
What do you do when the sun finally comes bursting through your window? It has been such a long time. How do you respond to such an event? When the sun finally comes out and saves me, I will run outside with arms wide open. Tears of joy will stream down my face. I will finally be able to be hopeful. I will love you like you have always deserved to be loved.
But until that day comes. I will wait in the darkness, hoping with all my heart for the sun to return and the clouds to finally vanish. Dreaming constantly of the day I will have you in my embrace. Dreaming of the day you will return to me. The day I can be joyful again…