I Love You, But,

April 1, 2017

I love you, but, 

Loving you has become tiresome.

You are the moon,

I am the ocean,

Constantly pushed and pulled;

Enduring your emotions.

Now and then I think we're okay,

And where I once was the ocean,

I recede into a bay.

Until your fist slams against the surface of the water

And sudenly

A ripple effet occurs that turns into a tsunami.

You apologize.

You tell me that you didn't mean to make me cry.

You hold me at arms length just enough for me to grab your hand,

And stop myself from drowning.

You are always the one who pushes me under. 

I love you, but, 

I'm tired of hearing the words, "I'll change"

It's like you're handing me a numbered ticket and telling me to wait.

I'm so tired of waiting. 

Because when I do you push me away.

You tell me that you just need space

And then you tell me I'm your universe

Just so I will stay. 

I love you, but, 

I cannot change you 

The way I told myself I could.

I cannot wait for you the way I promised myself I would. 

I love you, but, 

I can't spend the rest of my life in fear.

I love you, but,

I have to leave it here. 

No more oceans, 

No more bays, 

No more hoping for decent days.

I love you, but,

That love is going to become a "used to".

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