Precious Blue Eyes

March 30, 2017
By JJ_Lone PLATINUM, Davenport, Washington
JJ_Lone PLATINUM, Davenport, Washington
27 articles 0 photos 73 comments

Those moments when you realize
That you’ve been staring all your life
At those precious blue eyes
Telling you little white lies

Those moments when you realize
That you’ve been living a lie
Always saying goodbye
Instead of saying hello.

Those moments when you realize
The memories you cherished
With those precious blue eyes
Are all on your mind

Those moments when you realize
The lie that those eyes spoke
Gave you happiness
That the lie awoke

Those moments when you realize
That those precious blue eyes
Are the only family you have
And you should hold on tight

Those moments when you realize
Those precious blue eyes, lie
But it made you happier
Even if you said goodbye



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This article has 1 comment.


on Apr. 9 2017 at 9:42 am
addictwithapen PLATINUM, Chesapeake, Virginia
21 articles 14 photos 165 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I'm at it again as an addict with a pen." - twenty one pilots, addict with a pen

The concept of this poem is good. I would recommend applying a consistent rhyme scheme throughout the poem. For example, in the first stanza, “realize”, “eyes”, and “lies” all rhyme, while “life” does not. This makes the rhyme scheme for the first stanza ABAA. However, in the second stanza, “lie” and “goodbye” rhyme, while “realize” and “hello” do not (“realize” almost rhymes with “lie”, but not quite.). This makes the rhyme scheme for the second stanza ABBC. When your rhyme scheme changes with every stanza, it disorients the reader and diminishes the flow of the poem.


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