She held onto him
as if he were the only
thread that would hold her up
in order to face the world
that laughed at her pain
with no remorse or regret

But he held her heart within
a birdcage and let it
out only when his pleasure
awakened him, and only
when his thoughts
told him to do so

So she wandered the nights alone
and crept through the hallways alone
and sang to the sparrows alone
and whispered to the spirits alone
in the comfort of the sofa
in the comfort of her nightgown
in the comfort of the television light

She was too afraid to let go of
this thread, for all that
lies ahead is the unknown
and she would think to herself
about how much scarier it might
be to face this reality with
no one to turn to

No one who could truly love her
No one who could understand her
No one who could get inside her

She would have to waste more
time pretending to enjoy
herself for the sake of the fear
that consumed her body
and the voices that told her
to stay, though she really wanted to leave

So she smiled, as the sun made
it's way down, passed the street-lamps
covered in candy enamel and sulking pedestrians

Lost in fake devotion
Lost in false emotion
Lost in the world's commotion